Quotes

"When The Government Fears The People, There Is Liberty. When The People Fear The Government, There Is Tyranny." Thomas Jefferson

'We are all brothers and sisters separated by a mere 2,000 generations.
Old-fashioned concepts of race are not only socially divisive but scientifically wrong.'  

Bill Watterson "Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us

Martin Mull "The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass."

A A Milne "One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries."

Norm Crosby "When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty."

A Chinese child "An American is a man with two arms and four wheels."

Dave Barry "The metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet."

Dave Barry "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death."

????- "Why use a big word when a diminuative one will suffice?"

Jay Leno "The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver."

Steven Wright "My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted." "Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect." "I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out." "I bought some batteries, but they weren't included." "Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?" "I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it." "I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place." "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it." "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?" "What's another word for Thesaurus?" "It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature." "There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot." "If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?" "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." "When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'" "Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."

Albert Einstein "As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality." "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." "Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish." "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen." "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." "I never think of the future - it comes soon enough." "If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith." "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax." "The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible." "The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one." "The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." "You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war." "If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts." "Imagination is more important than knowledge..." "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science." "The important thing is not to stop questioning."

King Edward VIII "The thing that impresses me the most about America is they way parents obey their children."

Frank Zappa "Art is making something out of nothing and selling it." "Rock journalism is people who can't write interviewing people who can't talk for people who can't read." "In the fight between you and the world, back the world." "Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff." "The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced."